


Things are different now

by JadziaLavellan



Series: Bienenstich [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, My First Smut, Shameless Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:04:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadziaLavellan/pseuds/JadziaLavellan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conversation with Inquisitor Ameridan became an Inspiration for Jadzia, she can finally face the struggles in her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things are different now

**Author's Note:**

> My first try to write a short story in English, or at least a part of it. All opinions/advice/criticism/thoughts/questions are welcome. ^_^ I'd really appreciate some feedback...  
> You may also find some mistakes (both spelling and grammar) in text, I have to apology for that, English is neither my mother language, nor my first foreign language  
> Jadzia Lavellan is my Inquisitor in DA:I
> 
>  
> 
> Note: I made a lot of changes to make everything sounds more ... logical... IF such a story need to be logical... xD

As Jadzia came back from Frostback Basin, she looked exhausted. The fight against that Hakkon-Dragon was not easy after all. Yet she seemed more disturbed and absent-minded during their short meeting in War room.

 

Later that day Cullen knocked on her door, He wants to make sure if everything is ok with his Love.

 

His… Love… He never told her that, that he loves her, that he thinks of her every day and every night, that he would stay with her, spend his life time with her.

 

He did not dare.

 

They fought together, shared some kisses on the battlements, exchanged one or another smirk in War room and that ‘date’ near Honnleath, but she was always somehow passive in their relationship. That distant feeling makes him feel unsure, but still, he didn’t want to push her into anything.

 

Jadzia opened the door, her tired face looked delighted as she saw him, for the first time she just jump into his arms like a cheerful little bird. Cullen was happily shocked; he started wondering what really happened in the Basin.

 

He kissed her forehead and sighed quietly. Her face was flushing, she looked up, ‘c… can we talk?’ those Emerald green eyes, Cullen felt like he would drown in this moment. He nodded.

 

Jadzia held his hand and took him in, passed him a glass of wine as him sat down comfortably on her sofa, then she leaned against the edge of her desk.

 

‘You read my report about Inquisitor Ameridan, I suppose?’

 

‘Yes. The truth that he was a dalish elf and a mage - Just as you are - still sounds unbelievable for many.’

 

‘No doubt that.’ she laughed.

 

‘Well… Cullen, did you… ‘Her voice sounded quite nervous, ‘Did you ever think about the future? A… about us… I mean… OUR future?’

 

Cullen looked at her with surprised eyes. He was not prepared for the quick change of subjects. ‘Of course I did. I…’ he cleared his throat and tried to start over again. ‘I did think about that.’ He stood up and walked to her, ‘This War won’t last forever, when it started I hadn’t considered much beyond our survival, but things are different now.’

 

Jadzia nodded, ‘Yes, they are…’

 

Cullen looked her in the eyes, ‘Lately I find myself wondering what will happen after. When this is over, I… I don’t want to move on… not from you.’ He caressed her face, then the feeling of doubt and unsure came up again, he looked away, tried to avoid the sight of hers.

 

Jadzia cupped his face with both hands and moved his head to watch her face again. ‘I will not lie to you. I was not sure about us.’ Cullen felt his heart slowly shattering and falling down, but surprisingly Jadzia kiss his cheek and continued, ‘Don’t get me wrong, I… I’ve always cared for you… loved you, but I was not sure about anything… EVERYTHING! I am only a normal dalish elf, and a MAGE, I was never meant to be… this! I’ve struggled every single day since I joined the Inquisition, maybe I am not the Herald of a goddess which I didn’t believe in, maybe I will not be able to carry out the title and the duties as Inquisitor, and… maybe you deserve someone better…’

 

Cullen stopped her with a kiss, ‘No, please don’t say that. You are more than I deserve, and you are the only one I’ve ever wanted.’ His heart was pounding so loud in his chest, he looked deep in her eyes: 'I Love you, Jadzia.’

 

She covered her mouth with her hands; tears of joy filled her eyes. Cullen gave her a warm and loving hug, kissed her forehead.

 

'I love you, too, Cullen, with all my heart.’ She murmured in his arms.

 

‘Now, may I call you ma vhenan?’ Cullen whispered beside her ear, his lips touched the tip of her ear, made her shivering.

 

Jadzia looked up with wide eyes, 'where did you…’

 

'Well, it was you who recruited Loranil, wasn’t it?’

 

Both giggled and sat back in sofa. Jadzia’s voice was relaxed, peaceful, 'I talked with Inquisitor Ameridan before he vanished. His words touched my soul, changed me. I was wrong, narrow-minded, doubted too much and forgot the real important things in my life.’

 

Cullen took her hands and kissed them, 'You are a great woman. You stood up and took over the duty when we lost our hope, you fight for the right thing and you try to make the world a better place, I am so proud to stay at your side.’

 

'Thank you, emma lath.’ she smiled shyly, 'I think I will just take the moments of happiness where I find them. No more struggles between two religions, because I can believe in both. I have the best soldiers, best companions, best advisors and I have you. I was a fool that I didn’t see it this way earlier.’

 

They talked and laughed, all the troubles and problems seemed forgotten, and then they heard knocking on the door. Cullen stood up with a rush, ‘I… I think I should go back to…’ Jadzia held him at elbow, ‘Don’t go.’ Her voice was low and shaking, her face flushing, before Cullen could say anything she ran to door.

 

Few minutes later she came back with a heavy plate, Cullen took over from her hands quickly and put it on a small round table, he looked at her face then down on her belly with wide eyes, ‘your dinner?’

 

On the plate were two giant roast chicken, bread, vegetables and fruits piled up like a mountain, plus a big bottle of wine.

 

Jadzia covered her forehead with one hand, ‘No! Of course not!’ she nearly shouted. A piece of paper was under the wine; Cullen pulled it out and read quietly:

 

1\. Hope the food is enough for you.

 

2\. Next meeting is in two days.

 

\--- L

 

His face also started to burn, he looked at Jadzia’s blushing face, she heard it, too. After a short moment of silence, he tried to break the awkwardness by asking, ’are you… hungry?’

 

Jadzia was too shy or too angry to answer. She went to windows, closed them and pulled the curtains over. Then she snapped her fingers, all candles are lit. ‘Now,’ she panted lightly during the fast paces, ‘no more spying around, let’s eat.’

 

As Cullen came back from washroom, Jadzia was already sleeping. She curled together under sheet on one side of her bed, snored lightly. After such a difficult mission, she must be very tired. Cullen stared her for a few minutes, her pink cheeks and lips looked so tempting, he felt the heat gathering under his belt, he swallowed hard, but then shaked his head and smiled, her fully trust in him made him very happy, and he would never want to make her feel any regret, especially in this phase of their relationship. He lied down on her sofa exhaled quietly.

 

Nightmares came. There, he had to fight again, those old memories, old enemies which have haunted him for so many years, still keep coming.

 

Jadzia was waked up by his lower groaning, she ran to sofa where he sleeps. He was sweating, panting painfully, she held his hand and put the other hand on his forehead, casting a cleansing spell to help him.

 

Suddenly Cullen woke up. He opened his eyes, saw the glowing magical light over his head and panicked. He jumped up, grabbed Jadzia's shoulders and shouted to her furiously.

 

Jadzia tried hard to hold back the tears, she called his name softly, 'Cullen, Cullen! Please wake up! It’s me...'

 

Cullen's eyes focused on her face only slowly, and then he was stunned. 'No, no, no...' he let her loose, 'what have I done!' he wanted to hold her, but his hands stopped in the middle, there is only bitterness in his mouth.

 

Jadzia caught his hands and cupped her face with them, 'It's ok! Cullen, emma lath! I am here, look at me!'

 

Jadzia saw the sadness and sorrow in his honey brown eyes, she felt so sorry for him. She knew about his lyrium withdrawal and encouraged him, and she had great sympathy for him as he told her about his past, about being tortured by demons, about his anger against mages and his remorse. This was the first time she saw the ex-templar's suffering, it also broke her heart.

 

Cullen pulled his hands back, ashamed, he stepped away from her, 'I... I am so sorry, my lady, please forgive me.'

 

'Emma lath,' she walked to him again, held him in arms, 'it was just a silly dream, I shouldn't wake you up with magic, it was my fault.' she yawned exaggerated, tried to make herself sound as casually as possible. 'Well, I am still tired, didn't sleep well in the basin.'

 

'Please don’t try to pretend it was nothing. I nearly hurt you, and it could happen again, maybe even worse! You have seen the other side of me, and you... still want me?'

 

'Of course I want you! Eh... wait, I mean...' her face was flushing again, she scratched her hair, 'is this a trick question?'

 

With a surprised gasp she stopped talking, his kiss was hot and desperate. Jadzia closed her eyes, tasted his warm lips on hers, enjoyed his masculine scent in her nose. Her arms tightened around his neck as she felt her own arousal, the emptiness within her, and the heat between her thighs. Suddenly Cullen stopped. From the look on his face, he was trying to step back again. ‘Love me, Cullen.’ She whispered in his ears, took his left hand and put it on her breast.

 

Her heart pounded faster as he carried her in his arms. Jadzia has never been with a man, although she knew one thing or two about making love, and she is willingly, but really facing what is going to happen now still makes her breathless.

 

He put her on her bed, his eyes asking for her permission. She nodded soundlessly. Their tongues meet, he held the back of her head with one hand, and the other hand caressed her spine and slipped slowly to her breasts. she gasped as he kissed her neck and collarbone, then came to her nipple, sucking, licking and biting gently, His thumb massaged the other nipple, circling around, every move make her moan.

 

Their clothes and armors were already on the floor. He nibbled every inch of her naked silky skin, and carefully caressed her bruised shoulders with his lips. His burning flesh rubbed on her body, she meowed satisfied and bit her lower lip, Cullen groaned as he saw her sexy expression, his hand slided down to her vulva. Jadzia rolled her body as she felt his hand. She moaned his name breathlessly. He could feel her body burning. His hand found her entrance, it's already wet. He kneeled between her legs. The head of his shaft rubbed on her inner thigh, telling her how ready he was.

 

She gasped loud, covered her eyes with both hands, Cullen felt her nervousness. She's shivering, trying to close her legs together.

 

'Are you alright?' he forced himself to ease.

 

Her voice was nasal under her hands, 'yes... it's just... I've never done this before.'

 

Cullen moved her hands down, 'neither have I. if you want to stop...'

 

'No! I want to...I want to be with you.'

 

He smiled, his voice was deep and husky, 'are you really sure about this?'

 

Jadzia opened her eyes, she want him to see her earnest. 'Yes, I am, Vhenan.'

 

Cullen kissed her lips lovingly, tasted her, his hands caressed her. Now he could recall what Dorian told him few days ago, 'Be patient with our dear inquisitor, if your body is not so experienced as your chess skill, then at least let her feel your honesty.'

 

Her stiff body softened after a while. His name came out from her mouth with a whimper. She sounded so tender and vulnerable, like a begging kitty. Her legs are parted, wrapped around his waist. Cullen took her hand to his shaft, she was shocked at first. It is much bigger than she thought. He could even saw the fear flashed in her eyes.

 

He whispered in her ear, 'I’ve heard the first time could be painful, but I will be careful, don’t worry, ma vhenan. If you feel any discomfort or pain, just tell me and I will stop. Now, try to relax.'

 

She nodded and guided him to her wet entrance. She looked at him directly in the eyes as he squeezed in her body slowly. Her fingers grabbed in sheet, the Pain was bearable, but the feeling of totally fullness was so overwhelming for her, she whimpered.

 

Cullen’s breath was heavy. She was incredible tight, but her walls soft and warm, his shaft felt so well that he nearly lost control.

 

They panted few seconds, hot breath spurted on each other’s naked skin, their fingers Interlaced. Cullen began to move. At first, gentle and loving, in a steady pace. Jadzia hummed satisfied, her body arched back slightly. The pain is fading, pleasure building up in her body. She gasped surprised as Cullen made a deeper thrust, then another, with each thrust he went deeper in her.

 

She moaned louder and louder, her hands held his shoulders, harmless tiny lightning appeared on her fingertips, licking their skin tenderly.

 

Cullen buried his face in her hair. For an inexperienced man like him it is very hard to continue to long, plus they’ve spent much time in foreplay, he could feel his climax is very near, but he wanted to give her a perfect first time experience. He must calm himself down, even if only for a few minutes. He closed his eyes, used an old templar meditation skill.

 

Jadzia didn't notice what he was doing. Waves of pleasure were charging in her body. She bit her lower lips, rocked her hips to meet his thrusts, and took him completely in her. 'Cullen! ma'arlath! ma sa'lath!' she cried out as the burst of climax filled her, fingernails digging into his back. Her inner walls pushed together, Cullen couldn’t hold back any longer, he plunged deep in her and with a groan he filled her with his seed.

 

She gasped as he left her body, but he didn’t move away, instead he lied down beside her, combed her sweaty hair with his fingers, then leaned his forehead on hers, 'you are... I have never felt anything like this.'

 

Jadzia can clearly feel his gentle love. She thanks the creators and the maker in her heart for giving her a chance to falling love with him. 'Me neither. I love you.' her voice was soft. No one outside the chamber would believe their fearless Inquisitor could sound so delicate.

 

Cullen gave her a warm smile, 'I love you, too.'


End file.
